Sunday, November 17, 2013

1950's Tiki Ball & Body Weight Issues

The Second Annual Voodoo Island 1950's Tiki Ball was held at the Millennium Harvest House Outdoor Pavilion and Pool on Saturday, August 31, 2013 (you know the night before I had to move). I had been asked to help teach a class on vintage hair and makeup; my area being lips. Yes, to answer your next question, I'll try to fit in a tutorial on here.

If you haven't figured it out by now, I love any excuse to get dressed up in one of my "fancier" dresses. This year's Tiki Ball was no exception. I wore my lovely red Hawaiian dress with sash, red rhinestone earrings, Betsy Johnson Polly's, an armful of Bakelite bangles, and my oh so lovely Lucite purse (post coming about it soon).

It started raining and was very humid again this year, so my lovely wet set quickly disintegrated into a mess of hair by the time my group went for dinner.








Now for some serious talk...


As I was looking at these photos, I realized that I had lost a little weight. Now my weight loss has been completely unintentional as I loved my body the way it was before I dropped 16 pounds / 7.26 kilos. Most people would be thrilled and possibly motivated about the weight loss.

The terrible part is that I think I have now developed an actual complex about my prior weigh. This was never a problem before the weight loss. I didn't think that I had an amazing body but I also liked my body. I was truly comfortable inside my own skin.

My pre-weight loss waist measured between 30 - 31.5 inches / 76.2 - 80 cm. My current waist measures 27.5 inches / 69.85 cm.

As a comparative here are pictures from last years Tiki Ball.




I look at the photos and I see a lovely lady who is overweight instead of just a lovely lady. Had you asked me before my sudden weight loss what I thought of myself I would have just told you that I looked nice. That my hair was fabulous. That my swimsuit was terrific. That I loved these photos.

I now find myself wanting to hid them from people. How stupid is that honestly?


I ultimately want to love myself and my body no matter what weight or size I am at but I have found myself regularly measuring my waist and changing my eating habits to ensure I stay at a 27.5 or lower waist. The real issue being that I would like to loss more weight.

Have you ever suddenly become obsessed with your weight? Embarrassed of your body whether it was now or then? How did you get past it? Did you get past it?




17 comments:

  1. I can't remember a time I haven't been obsessed with my weight/size/body. You are beautiful, Wendi! And I hope you can learn to love your body again, no matter what your waist size or weight you are. :-)

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    1. I agree completely Sean, well said!

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    2. Thank you Sean. I truly am hoping it is just a phase.

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  2. I can understand where you are coming from, except that when I was heaver I was never really comfortable with myself and actually I see you as beautiful both ways:) I got to my height after having two kids. It wasn't that I ate junk food. It was just the wrong kind of food, processed and full of carbs. One day I had an epiphany after reading an article in actually a spiritual magazine about wheat. Funny eh? So, then I just changed my diet and I feel like I'm where I should be except, I'd love to gain more body strength (love Pilates and need to get back to this) but this requires another commitment of getting to the gym regularly. I too do struggle with the idea of gaining weight but I think my eating habits have now become a lifestyle and I just try to check and balance myself but not beat myself up if I eat too much of my kids halloween candy:). I don't think I could go back to where I was before, not saying it is impossible only because I completely look at food differently. Oh by the way, the red dress you are wearing is amazing! Be proud of yourself and enjoy your moments and youth! Next on the list is worrying about the wrinkles like me:) But, experience comes along with the wrinkles so I learn to enjoy the moments:) When you come to NY, please teach me how to have such lovely makeup and hair like you:))

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    1. I also love Pilates Joanna! I should definitely make that a goal of mine.

      Thank you, I really love that dress. It is a regular in my rotation.

      I promise I'll do a tutorial very soon for you. Do you want hair or lips?

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    2. I think I would like to see a lip tutorial. This could be quite interesting to learn more about:)

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    3. I'll get to working on it!

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  3. I have the opposite problem. I look back at photos of times when I thought I was overweight, and compared to where I am now, I looked absolutely fantastic. I struggle with feeling sexy now and appreciating that, versus when I was much thinner and "healthier" but felt hugely self-conscious and "fat". I know that my words can't help, but I hope that you realize how gorgeous you are, and were last year as well. My dangerous past of anorexia started really gradually. It can be a dangerous path. My hopes are that women can realize how gradually it can happen, and to recognize dangerous thought patterns before they take root. You are stunning, and as long as you can keep your negative self talk (even if it's directed at your past self) under control, you'll live a much healthier life. Keep your chin up, and thanks for your honesty. <3

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    1. I feel the exact same way Janaya! I'm kind of glad to know that I am not the only one. It seems contradictory to feel worse about oneself when at a lower weight. I truly feel stupid and guilty for it. Something, like you said, I'll just have to learn to accept and stop beating myself up about.

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  4. Great post, I can definitely relate to your feelings. My body has changed a lot over the year, and weight fluctuates in a ten pound radius seemingly always. But you are right, it's when I am a bit smaller that I suddenly become aware that I was bigger before, and think more about fitness and my eating habits. It's hard, when society reinforces that smaller is better, to not get caught up in body image issues especially when one's body changes. If it's any consolation, I think you looked great then, and the differences are probably more noticeable for you than to anyone else. I really appreciate your honesty! Hope life is good for you otherwise, love your instagram updates :).

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    1. Oh Instagram... how I love thee!

      I need to find a workout regiment that works for me so that I can maintain without torturing myself. Maybe that would hep?

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  5. This is completely normal as I went through the same phase after I had to lose some weight due to pending medical exams for testing to see if I had PCOS. I lost ten dress sizes and, like you, started realizing just how much of a difference it was.

    I went down to a size 11/12 and felt like one more size down and I would be good but I actually started to gain weight again and moved up to a 13/14 and have now been obsessing over it as of late because it feels like you got a taste of what it is to really look as well as feel like you want only to have it dangling by a hair. So yeah, these are the breaks, just don't let it get away from yourself and cause you any physical harm down the road.

    I love the way you looked before and after so whatever you feel works for you, I'm all for it, just don't end up making yourself miserable by trying to struggle to always maintain it. In the end, it's not worth it because we all tend to naturally gain weight as we get older anyway and it just becomes a struggle most of us aren't meant to win.

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  6. I'm new here and I like your blog. I completely get what you're saying, though. I went through something similar in high school. I thought I looked wonderful but my parents were like "you need to lose weight!" and when I actually gained weight again, I got really upset about it whereas before, I, too, would've said hey look at me in my pretty dress. It changed to "I'm chubby but at least I have a pretty dress." It's hard to love your body; that goes for women no matter your size. But I hope you continue to just have fun, wear what you love and find ways to feel beautiful every day.

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    1. Welcome to HRF Desiree!!

      I can't believe your parents told you to lose weight. Wow, just wow! To be fair my mother did the same when I was 18 years old (but I had put on 50 lbs).

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  7. I used to worry about my weight in high school a lot, but for the opposite reason. I was very very thin, enough that every doctor's visit and P.E. fitness test involved being told how underweight I was. I ate plenty though and was very focused on trying to gain weight. I've gotten over it mostly by the fact that as I've gotten older my metabolism slowed down so I slowly gained weight. Yet anytime I do lose any weight I get all freaked out. So it's a process.

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    1. I actually have a male friend that is the same way. He eats around 6,000 calories each day just to survive. He's rail thin. I can't imagine having such a high metabolism and getting to eat everything I wanted. He told me that the novelty wears off fast and that you finally just get sick of eating.

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